"It was the best of times... it was the worst of times."
Those words should be familiar to you regardless of whether you have read the priceless work of "A Tale of Two Cities", by Charles Dickens.
Those words so suitably describe life so far this year of 2012. Some of you are aware of the difficulties of the last many months... many of you are not.
It is not something I've tried to hide or keep away from the world, but some seasons of life are more difficult to share than others. So excuse this random-generalized-but-still-real update. It has been a long winter. I could list things like:
- My being ill and almost non-functioning at times since November [long story. still continuing. But God is good and answers are becoming clearer and truly, He uses *everything* for His purpose, more on that later..].
- Littlest brother being sick for five weeks [head cold which turned into a sinus infection which got so bad he had to take a very powerful antibiotic which resulted in a terrible yeast infection, during which he was exposed to the Measles (we didn't know at the time) which he caught and had no immune system to fight it and therefore led to viral pneumonia... which led to Mom and I being nurses intensely for a long time and it was crazy!]
- My Grandpa experiencing a mild-heart-attack and other health complications in the middle of Jeremiah's illness
[Dad was gone for a week to be with his parents]- Re-thinking goals and vision and what Jesus would have for me in the future.
- Letting go of heart-dreams and desires.
- Working through conflict and other real-life situations.
I am sure we all could list things that would go under the "worst of times" categories. Thankfully, littlest brother is on the mend. Grandpa is stable. Life goes on because Jesus is good!
It has been a long "winter"... for me, it has been "winter" for about two years, as the Lord has been leading me through the Valley of deep growth and spiritual battling my flesh. It has been dark, difficult and dreary... but also so intimate, insightful and irreplaceable. He is so close, so dear, so wonderful in the Valley. It's been a season of darkness, a season of death-to-visions, letting dreams go... a season when one moment, everything I thought was coming together, only to find Jesus was asking me to wait longer.
It was a season of "just Jesus". Months of quiet, weeks of questions and days of wondering... and then coming all back to the basics: "You don't know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have." - Corrie ten Boom
It has also been a season filled with joy and contentment in ways I never imagined.
Yes, this is rather general, but believe me when I say, I wouldn't trade my several years of "winter" for anything... though I have no wish to re-live them either. The last several months, my heart has been sensing that Winter would be coming to an end soon. Jesus has been teaching me, leading my heart in hope and showing me that I must not shut out the joy or be afraid of the blessings! Have you ever been there? In a hard/deep season for so long... you don't know if you are ready to come out, even though you want to? I am ready!
Spring has been coming! Aslan is on the move...
It has been a season of waiting, watching and trusting! How trustworthy my Jesus is.
Even in the darkest moments, He gives strength and joy, hope and wonderful peace that passes all understanding.
And Spring is here. Aslan is here.
The "best of times" is coming...
It was in the midst of one of the hardest seasons [littlest brother being so ill last month] that Jesus started whispering to my heart that "Spring was coming". It was so hard to believe Him while feeling ill myself, helping Mom take care of Jeremiah on very little sleep, day after day and wondering how to keep going. It had been months since anything had really "happened". Months since there had been any new "opportunities". But I believed. I prayed. I worshipped. I kept my eyes on Jesus. There was one day, it was the most difficult. One of those days where I wanted to "know" in my heart, not just in my head, that Jesus was there. Have you been there? No, I wasn't questioning my faith or debating atheism... I just simply was a little child longing for her Daddy King to hold her, to feel His presence overwhelm the darkness. In those moments, my heart is drawn to worship. Singing. Playing. Worship... mhm.
"Jesus, I need to know you are there..."
No, there wasn't a direct "answer" from the Lord.
But there was the "peace that passes all understanding".
[A Tale of London]:
It was about twenty minutes later, that the first "City" [Yes, this is really a "Tale of Two Cities", Kristi Version] was given.
Long story short, my second cousin is getting married! The man-of-her-dreams is from Europe. I was gazing longingly at their engagement pictures online which had been taken in front of a Castle [yeah, I know... right?] and Mom came in the kitchen to get some more things to bring Jeremiah in bed. We talked for a "breather" moment. "Mom, I would absolutely love to shoot Hannah's (the Bride) wedding! Could you imagine!? A wedding, in the English Countryside!?" Mom smiled. We talked about it, about the impossibility, but the amazing dream it would be. Twenty minutes later, my great-Uncle (Hannah's Dad, an amazing man of God who I love dearly) contacts me and long story short, we ended up on the phone: "So Kristi... what would it take for you to shoot Hannah's wedding?"
Yes, I did ask him to repeat what he just said.
"Kristi... what would it take for you to shoot Hannah's wedding?"
"Um, pay my flights and expenses and I will do it in exchange?!"
"Done! Absolutely! No problem..."
Yeah, I had a moment of: "Hold on, let me get this straight..." and we talked through the details as I started bouncing off the walls with excitement as tears of joy filled my eyes, feeling the arms of my Daddy King around me. I didn't deserve this opportunity, I didn't earn it, I didn't really seek it... and yet, my Jesus was working it all out. "You would fly out of Chicago, with your Great-Gram, we would be in England for a week, is that ok with you? I will pay all your expenses, your flights, and you can hang out and tour with us... I was thinking Oxford, we will be only twenty minutes away, oh and a pub where Tolkien and another author used to hang out at..."
"C.S. Lewis!?"
"Yes, are you ok with that??"
[there were many "duh" moments in the conversation. hehe]
So long story short, friends... Jesus has given me a week in England, shooting a wedding for a gorgeous couple, hanging out with my amazing second cousins touring London, Oxford and who-knows-what-else... in exchange for me doing the very thing God has delighted in giving me, my love of capturing beautiful images!
Wow. Just Wow.
England, Europe... for a week!
I knew there was a reason Jesus had me buy my passport last year...
[A Tale of Columbia]:Meanwhile, during this same season this winter, I was presented with an opportunity to pray about a missions trip to Columbia, South America. It was right in the middle of Jeremiah being so ill, therefore, I prayed, but didn't really think about it till weeks later. Have you ever had an opportunity presented and God tells you to go like ten different ways... its like *every* Sunday message, *every* verse, *every Bible Study Lesson is the Holy Spirit saying: "Go!!" That is how it was with Columbia. One of my first photography instructors (way back in 2008) personally invited me... it is a missions trip for ten days... teaching photography and Jesus in a secular-public-high-school and also in an orphanage. It is a dream opportunity, and yet, I warred about whether or not to go, because circumstances were/are so against me. But...
"God is for you, Kristi" - Romans 8
So I am going.
I am leaving to go to Columbia, South America in TWO DAYS.
Yes, I did just say, two days... its a little late notice. hehe.
Don't feel bad, because the official decision was made like a little over two weeks ago and it has been a COMPLETE whirl-wind since then of emails, details, sending support letters, raising support [$2,600], buying necessary gear, and getting things in order. Monday, I received word that Jesus provided ALL my support... every penny and MORE of $2,600, in like two weeks. Just typing that I am brought to tears... how humbling it has been to receive from God's people, from those who love me so dearly... and even from those who have never met me before. !!! Wow. God pays for what He plans. Every little detail from God providing for my specific needs financially, along with health difficulties... etc.etc.etc.
So, I have less than 24 hours to be packed up and ready to leave the country-for-the-first time... my room currently looks like this:
Lord Rillian, is rather thrilled about his first adventure with me.
We are both thrilled and nervous and excited and really... not even sure what to think! There have been plenty of moments of being overwhelmed with how little prepared I am and how inadequate I feel, not speaking the language, not ever being out of the country, etc. And yet, I am willing. So often, Jesus has shown me...
"Dearest, I just want you to be willing. That is all... let Me take care of the rest. You serve and be willing. I will be with you."
It has been a long winter... and it still is in some aspects. I am not completely well. Littlest brother is though, I am thankful! *grin*.
Life is still hard, and things are still challenging. Each day, I am leaning more on my Jesus... but Spring is coming, Spring is here. Aslan is on the move and I am eager to see how He will work, how He will continue to lead, provide, protect, teach... truly, it is all about Jesus.
"God isn't looking for people of great faith, but for individuals ready to follow Him" - Hudson Taylor
Pray for me, friends? Specifically for:
- Protection physically [travel. health. food. luggage.]
- Protection spiritually [wisdom. discernment. boldness. love.]
- Unity and servant heart in our team
- Equipment to be working and ready to use.
- Lives to be changed through the Gospel.
I shall Lord Willing, be blogging while in Columbia... yes, plenty of pictures.
You can also visit the
Global Encounters Blog to keep up on what is going on.
So begins my adventures of: "A Tale of Two Cities"...
I shall see you when I get down South... wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little." - Edmund Burke
Love,
KM
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