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Thursday, 24 May 2012

  • [Real Life]: Conviction

    I've been convicted. 
    A whole lot the last few weeks.

    I've been convicted about being convicted.

    Yes. There is such a thing... because really, there is a huge distance between being convicted/realizing your sin and actually repenting and changing from the conviction of the Holy Spirit. It seems rather "simple"... just confess, repent and pray for Jesus to change you. But it takes a soft heart, fully surrendered.

    It takes willingness. 

    I've been convicted about... holding on and surrender. I've been convicted about self-consumption. I've been convicted about allowing self-circumstances and everything in life  to rule me instead of just gazing upon the beauty, perfection and amazingness of Jesus? Why is the flesh so strong and my spirit so weak!

    My blog has been rather silent the last few weeks... not because I don't have things to share, but because I am not certain how to share them. Life is so deep. Things are never how they seem... there is always something deeper going on. Always. I saw a phrase a while ago: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

    I am fighting a hard battle.
    Love... what is it really?
    Hope seems like a foreign word. 
    Prayer is routine instead of delight.
    Dreams are foggy and hard to discern.
    People bring pain and joy. Why does it seem to be more the former. 
    Possessions are often so unnecessary and yet I allow them to dictate life.  
    Physically, my body took another bad turn and don't know why. [It will be three years this June.] 
    Emotionally, I wonder about decisions, my heart and wonder if I can step out in faith.
    Spiritually, I love my Jesus and yet, He seems distant, which means one thing...

    I moved. 
    Not He.

    As I was attempting to go to sleep the other evening, my heart heavy with frustrations and cares, I sighed: Jesus, are You going to do anything about it? There was a barrier between us... I didn't like it. I wanted it gone and yet, I didn't know how it had come to be there! Have you ever been in that place, dear one? Loving Jesus, believing truth and yet... something isn't right? I sighed again and turned in my bed, longing for sleep and it wouldn't come. 

    Not till I had the courage to ask: Jesus, what is it?
    He always has answers. Always. The secret is to simply: ask. 

    How patient He is. How wonderful. How kind. How gentle. How... love filled. 
    It was one of those moments when I really wanted to know the answer, but kinda really didn't. 
    But the answer came, it always does, if we have the heart to hear... 


    Startled... my mind started rushing through all the things, decisions, and life the last howevermany weeks trying to remember what it was He was referring to... it only took seconds. Ugh! Jesus... not that? I thought we already dealt with that! I am not ready to make that move, that choice, that decision... we are leaving it on the shelf, remember? Just speaking about it, I could feel fear pushing against my heart, like a river held back by a dam... ready to burst. We aren't going there, Jesus. I can't.

    I really couldn't.
    If you knew, you would understand.
    It would mean letting go of my security, my walls built up so well, my entire view of life from the captain seat.
    It would mean pain, or at the very least, risk of pain... then I remembered: 
    The only part of me that can be injured is the part of me that has not died and been surrendered to Jesus.

    Breathless I whispered: 
    I just can't. 

    But, oh...the incredibly freeing truth:
    No, I can't... but HE can.

    Jesus, I want to obey. Please lead my heart to obey.
    Willingness. That is what it takes. 

    And it is always a question of... trust. 

    Answer: Yes!
    Come what may... but Jesus, I WILL trust you. 
    That is when rest comes to the soul... when we choose to trust, not in ourselves, circumstances or situations... but in Jesus.

    Just Jesus. 

    "It is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul." -Charles Spurgeon
     
    -KM

Tuesday, 08 May 2012

  • [Adventures 2012]: Meet Me in St. Louis

    I love adventures.
    Especially with amazing friends!

    Over half of our team from Colombia [it helps that four are in one family] met up in St. Louis over the weekend to catch up, make memories and spend quality time! It was an incredible time. Seriously. From delightful piano recitals to squishing in cars... fudge and food to walks around the park... from random public swimming pools [weird stories] to surviving the heat... uncontrollable laughter and long [very long] deep conversations... watching Captain America and quoting movies. How nice it was to get to know each other outside of missions. Sometimes it can be a little awkward getting together with people you've only met once in another situation, but this was absolutely not the case. There is something amazing about being "family in Jesus". 

    I am so thankful for these people. For life and friendship in Jesus...

    Meanwhile, I'm sure you are wondering what happened with the photo essay contest... I ended up winning second place (I lost 1st place by 5 votes, so it was super close!) and therefore have $200 more dollars towards another missions trip! So that is super exciting. Yeah, more adventures in the future... YES. 

    Another random adventure occurred before leaving on Saturday for MO... on Friday evening was our yearly banquet for Life for Life Centers. My amazing cousin Ben [also one of my best friends] drove down from Chicago, last minute to come with since we had an extra ticket!!! I called him at about 1pm and he asked me three questions: "Where is it? What time is it? What color are you wearing?" Four hours later, he was in downtown Indianapolis, looking so sharp and matching me! Yeah, he is amazing. I am so thankful for him. My dress was also special, it was one I designed that my friend Robin sewed for me, so that was very special. I love it. 

    Life is continuing to move forward at a rate faster than I can keep up with so it seems, yet I am learning to abide and rest and take everything one day at a time. My health continues to be a challenge and yet, Jesus is working. Life has so many questions... yet, Jesus has answers. My heart wonders and waits and watches... and I lift my eyes to Jesus. 

    Today, John Piper posted something that really changed my heart. If you want some conviction and need of a kleenex, watch this ten minute video.

    "When God is magnified, fear is gone." - Dr. James MacDonald

    -KM  

     

    The Banquet::

    Gary and Christy Ripperger... two of the most precious people I know. 

     

    Adventures in St. Louis::

Wednesday, 02 May 2012

  • [Photo Essay]: Update and Finalist


    Sooooo... good-happy-wonderful-news!!
    Two of my images were chosen and are in the finalist category for Global Encounters Photo Essay Contest!!

     

    If you have a facebook account, I would love for you to go and VOTE for your favorite image!
    Friday the votes will be added up and the winners announced! Super super excited. *grin* Yay, Jesus!

    Meanwhile, I am currently at my office-away-from-home [Panera], as we are without internet since our house was struck by lightning yesterday... yes, really and truly I can now check "being in a house struck with lightning" off my bucket list... except it wasn't on there in there first place! Thank you, Jesus for Your protection and minimal damage. Though our chimney is pretty bad. [Yes, pictures at some point, possibly]. Let's just say life is never, seldom EVER boring. Today, Dad is starting to get people out to the house to work on the damage and hopefully, get internet working back at the house... interesting how hard it is to live without it sometimes. Especially for littlest brother who has online classes.

    Anyway, here is your "random" post for the week, friends. May you love Him more with all your heart... like, all! Completely! Totally! Wholly! Fully!

    "I have learned that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more." -C.S. Lewis 

    -KM 

Tuesday, 01 May 2012

  • [Senior.ness 2012]: Olivia Ruth

    Happy... May!! Wait, whaaattt? Since when!? Wow... is anyone else feeling like its still March, let alone April? Somehow, April just disappeared! Now May is here and going to completely fly by as May usually does. Graduations, Weddings, weekend trips, Senior shoots, lovely weather, etc. Yeah, its going to be June before we know it and then trip to England!! Ahh! Just one thing at a time. The last few weeks I've continued to work on my ever-growing-to-do-lists and am slowly but surely making progress. Today I think it is working on tackling writing all my thank you notes... [60+] someone laughingly said it was good preparation for "wedding thank you's". Oh, goodness. 

    How delightful it has been to have images to edit again... I think I probably said that already, but it is worth saying again. I love capturing and then creating beautiful images. My favorites are couples in love... but second favorites are most assuredly Seniors! It's not only fun to get to spend-one-on-one time learning about them, but capturing who they are, discovering their personality and excitement because of graduation! 

    My shoot with Olivia, was no exception. What a fun and laughter-filled few hours! ♥ 
    I met Olivia several years ago, she was in one of the musicals I directed... we always enjoyed good conversations together. I so appreciated Olivia's heart for Jesus, missions, serving others and being real. 

    Olivia loves to have fun, she smiles a lot and enjoys life thoroughly!! :) This is obviously reflected in her Senior pictures. When Olivia emailed me about using her "art" work in her Senior pictures and possibly setting up a "gallery" in the woods, I was doing happy dances on the SPOT! Can we do that? Of course we can!! It was a blast. I love it when my clients get super creative about their shoots. Thanks for the amazing time, Olivia. You were a complete natural! 

    "Every command God gives you is to protect you from second best." - Chip Ingram

    -KM 

         

         

     

Saturday, 28 April 2012

  • [Colombia Photo Essay]: Eyes



    Global Encounters, the organization I went to Colombia with, is having a:

     Photo Essay Contest!
     
    It is using a photo (or six photos, called a photo essay) to explain what we think: "Missions is...."
    It is really thrilling for me, not only to get to use the images from Colombia but also to enter my FIRST ever photo contest!!
    The judging took place last night... we are awaiting to hear who the finalists are, and for people to vote on them.

    This was one of my several entries, (yes, you could do more than one) but my only photo essay.  

    It was such a joy to think about captions for my different photos and use the images so dear to my heart.
    I pray you are blessed! So enjoy yet another preview of Colombia. What I believe is the heart of missions. 


    ‎"And after you have suffered a little while, Kristi, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor],
    Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what
    you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you." -1 Peter 5:10


    -KM  

     

PrincessKristi

  • Visit PrincessKristi's Xanga Site
    • Name: Kristi Michelle
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/24/2005
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About Me

  • I aspire to be a: passionate lover of Jesus. daughter. big sister. friend. adopted sister. mentor. photographer. worshiper. reader. creator. letter writer. visionary. and purity seeker.

PrincessKristi

  • Visit PrincessKristi's Xanga Site
    • Name: Kristi Michelle
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/24/2005
    • True